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Oh Boy, I Really Screwed Up

Common First Date Mistakes

Online dating has opened up a whole new world of making connections, friendships, and finding love. Unfortunately it's not that different from the offline world except in one regard. When you screw up it's usually faster, bigger and with wide ranging repercussions. In the offline world you would have to do some pretty crazy stuff to be labeled a stalker. Get too pushy online and send a few to many text messages, instant messages, or emails and you'll be on everybodies ban list and labeled as a stalker before you know it. Quit stalking, it's not a good thing.

Dating Mistakes

Whoa, slow down there buddy!

Remember online dating is a way to meet people in real life that you want to date. The first meeting is still the first offline meeting and you'll be learning new things about each other. How you interact in person is usually much different than when online. Think about it. Isn't it easier to send a scathing email than argue with somebody in person? Emails don't talk back or react when you are writing them. If somebody starts crying in the middle of an argument do you keep on going or do you back off a little? A lot? Just treat the first offline meeting like you would any normal date. Just because you know more about the person and have a personal rapport with them don't move to fast. Just enjoy the time together and be glad that you can share it with somebody that has interest in you.

Just Be Yourself

Don't try to act like you're somebody else. If you've read our earlier article you know that trying to be something your not can be a fatal mistake. Hopefully you've represented yourself as you truly are. If not, the sparks aren't going to fly and you or your date will be broken hearted. It will feel like the lead up to the date was a big lie and you were only trying to lure them into some type of trap.

Meet in a public place

This is fairly standard advice. Hopefully the person that you've been corresponding with is actually who you thought the were. A date in a public place if the safest bet. Tell your closest friends or family where you will be going and what time to expect you back. Tell them to expect a phone call to let them know that you're ok. If you are really paranoid you may want to set up a code word. That way if you say it while you're on the phone they know that you are in trouble. Don't worry too much about this though. Most people who meet online and date have wonderful experiences, or at least get a nice dinner or movie out of it.

Let me tell you about the time my family shot somebody.

This actually happened to me on a date once. I met this nice girl and asked her out. We were headed out for some dinner and a movie. At dinner I was asking a little bit about her unique last name, it was long and started with a V. I can't remember what it was now but her family had immigrated from Eastern Europe to the United States in the 1930's. They had a son of their own and when they found work they had adopted another boy. She explained to me that the adopted son turned against the family so they had to have him shot. I didn't ask for any more details, fearing that I may meet my maker by a red hot piece of lead. I finished the date though and when she asked if I wanted to go out again I gave her the vague "Oh maybe, give me a call an I'll let you know." Anyway, the point of this is you don't need to go into your sordid past and reveal all of your family secrets on the first date. I'm sure her family wasn't out to get me and probably were very nice people, it's just that I really wasn't interested in finding out, even though I was originally interested in her. Just follow these suggestions and your first date after meeting somebody online should be a successful and fun adventure. Just make sure you duck if the bullets start flying...